Living abroad; Malia Part 2

Warning: 18+

There is nothing on the Internet about what it’s really like to fly off to do a season abroad.
I have decided to venture into things slightly more ‘behind closed doors’

Ill be discussing more in depth with things such as RPS, workers parties, workers accommodation, tourists, workers routines and much more.


Firstly, like mentioned in Part 1, there are very few rules. It’s a recipe for disaster and I am sure you can imagine, some very mischievous behaviour goes on. We go and get away from the dull English weather, our tedious jobs, regular dull routines to a fun, exciting life of constant parting, drinking, sunbathing and working on the busy strip.

971868_592480394136216_149836634_nPlease remember, doing a season is a lot more then getting stupidly drunk and adding numbers to your list if you get what I mean.

So what exactly are the rules?

I personally say the rules are to go out, have a good time, enjoy yourself, don’t take anything too seriously and don’t look back.

Well, if your new to working abroad you will soon know what RPS is.
Rock, Paper, Scissor. This seems to be the answer to many problems, debates or can just add mischief to your day. Somehow, it seems to work and we love it!

We all know how Rock, Paper, Scissor works. You normally do one round, it can sort anything from a dare, debate, doing a favour and much more…

So as silly as it may sound, this also seems to be a big hit with season workers. This can sometimes stem from RPS. If you loose and don’t go ahead with your dare you get a lemon squeezed into your eye.

If you sleep with somebody more than 3 times you also get a lemon in your eye. We all know some workers get like dogs on heat when away in the sun so just remember to wrap up.  Everyone knows every ones business in these types of destinations and I have seen a lot of lemons being squeezed.

There are many other funny and silly rules in Malia and other destinations. It just adds to the banter and craziness.

It’s a love hate relationship. They drive us crazy with there loud obnoctious ways, speeding around on there quads and tearing the place up for a week however they pay our wages and keep Malia the fun holiday destination it is. I have met some complete wankers, and I have also met some of the funniest, most outgoing people.

One thing about working a season, is that it’s your home for the summer, your workplace. Your seeing tourists come and go every week. You find big groups try and  ‘tear the place down’. They have saved money to go on holiday and they’re excited, their ready to party. You know there is going to be the same types of people come the next week, and the next, and the next.

I’ve seen lads drive like maniacs on their quads and the girls get ridiculously drunk. Some tourists tend to be very loud and some even aggressive never the less they have saved to enjoy themselves and have every right to have a good time.

I do have to say though, they have made a huge difference to my night at work. Some can ruin it, trying to climb on the back of my moped while driving, fighting with each other but they have also made my night at work entertaining and amusing. We are wrong in feeling this slight hatred way but we all have to admit this is so true.

Selling laughing gas and shots comes with various comments from tourists. Well, I think I’ve heard everything although these are some of my ultimate favourite ones….

‘It’s cheaper in Zante’
‘I can buy 10 of those in England for that price’
‘Come on, give us a free one, don’t be tight’
‘If I buy one, can I get with you after?’


Nap time. Oh my god. I do not understand why but all workers HAVE to nap. We are so tired from all the hard work we have done in the day. LOL.

Nap time normally happens around 6-8pm. Yes, it sounds like we are all 5 years old but you workers reading this, you know how true this is. In my case, my roommate Nina and I slept till 11. Oooops. I did not always nap as I used to go up the gym at this time or go down to the beach for the sunset and skype friends and family. This tends to be the time when all workers are hibernating and the tourists go out for dinner.

Sundance This is one of the workers parties. Despite the location about to collapse, and the three 50 year old slides that call a ‘waterpark’ this is another chance for all the workers to get together, and shock, get wasted. This previously has fallen on a Monday and cost 5 Euros to get in. They have a coach that leaves from Mcdonalds as its a 30 minute walk from the strip, or if you have a ped and want to drive it takes 2/3 minutes. There is always fancy dress themes which is a laugh, this is really where your imagination skills come in.

2.90 Royal Oak is one of the places to be when you get up. As no one really has any phones or alarm clocks it seems to be the place everyone goes to once there up for the day, get your classic 2.90 (workers English breakfast for 2.90 euros) and your set for the day. Unfortunatley Royal Oak is no longer around.

Oasis Pool Party

 What would we do without Oasis. Every Thursday this is where you will find all workers. Its 20 euros for a wristband which entitles you to entry every week the entire summer. The pool does have a delightful name of being the ‘claymdia pool’ but don’t let that bother you. I’m sure many of you reading this are some of the dirty buggers to blame. It’s wrong, but it happens.

Cage Rage Where do I start?  So in 2013 this was a weekly event and 2014 was 3 times during the season. Cage Rage is where they get two lads, same weight and roughly the same size, to fight. They can fight either MMA, thai boxing (Muay Thai) or martial arts. My first fight I watched I was almost in tears but before I knew it I was completely into it.

Malia workers are a family and every week you go and support your fellow malakas. It’s strange at first but everything is done properly, with gloves and gum sheilds, a referee and a doctor at the side. There has been some pretty shit fights and some absolute insane ones. It is all done with a kind heart and never to intentionally hurt someone. It does cost to get in but workers price tickets are available. Tourists can also take part but not many people know about it so mainly workers. These nights are defiantly not to be missed and I can confirm it will all be going ahead again in 2015.

Carvery  Every Sunday, us British folk feel the need to indulge in a large portion of food containing large quantities of meat, veg, Yorkshire puds and lots and lots of gravy. I am happy to say, Malia, and other destinations do acknowledge this desire we have. Red Lion and Beach Road are the two popular places all the workers go. Be aware, you will be induced into a serious food coma for days.

Birthdays  For those summer babies you’ll be celebrating in the messiest way.  I guess workers see it as yet another excuse to get white girl wasted. I had my 19th and 20th in Malia. It’s such an irregular day because your away from home. It comes with such excitement and everyone makes it so special yet you’re not with all your family and close friends which is always a little sad.
Two words come into mind when planning a birthday.. ‘DAY SESH’.

Your fellow workers will do anything to get you extremely drunk so be prepared! Both my birthdays I spent on the Malia Booze Cruise and may I add, one of the best days of my summer. They take you out into the ocean and without a doubt, very messy however it is such a beautiful trip. A little shout out to the gorgeous girls who came on for my birthday and the booze cruise team for making it such an awesome birthday!

Luckily I got asked to work on the Malia Booze Cruise for 2015 summer. Click here to check out my vlog. Best job I have ever had.

Birthdays are also supposed to be pretty sentimental and civil so we do try and get some kind of birthday meal going on. I had my 20th meal in Stallis at a breath taking restaurant by the sea however we all know The Brasserie is the place to be. Telling them it’s your birthday also gets you a FREE chocolate brownie. Might I add, the best chocolate brownie you will ever eat in your entire lifetime. Ask Dom Decyfa for more details of the brownie and he is the number one fan of the Brasserie hahaha.

Royal Hall
Well, those gym freaks. Here you go. Up in the mountains, about a 5/10 minute drive from the Malia strip is one of the most beautiful 5* star resorts. It has a large outdoor pool with one of the most sensational views over part of Crete. A small indoor pool with a sauna and steam room, so good when you have a hangover, and most importantly the gym. It is expensive to join but I loved it. If you pay for all of summer in one go it is cheaper then paying each month.

Working in Malia was the best decision I ever made. I have learnt a lot, met some life long friends and made the most ridiculous and unforgetable memories.

You have every reason to go!

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